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As I sit at my desk at work listening to the voice of Michael Jackson I am moved to tears that we, music lovers, have lost this amazing talent.
Every single one of his songs was sung with an emotion so rooted you couldn’t help but feel it.
As part of the public we must remember that before he was our music icon…he was a son, a brother, a friend.
May his family find peace in the love that is felt worldwide…
xoxo
I am whole but not in so many parts.
Nestled in my corner.
Small, dot of size I feel you inside me.
Flutter of movements I can feel you grow.
Conceived in a moment of words and actions I will you to not take flight.
You are my being.
You are my soul.
You are my flesh.
My emotion of pain…
I purposely didn’t wear any eye makeup today because I knew that I would be crying. And here I am at my desk at work, early enough that perhaps no one will see me.
Although most people don’t need tears to show their pain or grief. Anyone looking at me is able to tell that I am breaking…breaking at the seams. Trying so hard to hold together my life.
People will say that although my life isn’t great it could be worse. I don’t think it is a matter of what it “could be” that is causing me to break it is “what it is” and how for so long I have tried to fix it and nothing has worked.
I have lost all that means anything to me and at this point I don’t have the strength to fight to get any of it back.
That means my will to live is broken and that my desire to find happiness is no where to be found.
It’s a rainy Monday and maybe through the events of the weekend I am feeling extra sensitive…or maybe just maybe I need to be honest with myself and admit that I am breaking..
